Jokes

Bhikhari: Kuchh Khane ko do baba
Aadmi: Tamatar Khao
Bhikhari: Roti hi de do baba
Aadmi: Tamatar Khao
Bhikhari: Laao, Tamatar hi Khila do
Aadmi ki Patni: Yeh totle hain, Keh Rahe hain… Kamakar Khao!!

Ek aadmi nadi mein doob raha tha…
Wo bola.. Ganesh Ji bachaooo…
Ganesh ji ne suna aur naachne lage!
wo bola, aap nach kyun rahe ho?
Ganesh Ji Bole: Mere visarjan mein bhi tu bahut nacha tha

Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Beti: Woh toh thik hai par ab "LAASH" ka kya karu?

Santa ke Dhabe mein…
Customer: Mere soup mein makkhi giri padi hai!
Santa: To kya karun? Dhaba chalaun ya inhe tairna seekhaun!!

Feron ke waqt Pandit ne mehmaano se puchha…
Pandit: Kisi ko iss shaadi se aitraaz hai?
Ek Aadmi bola: Mujhe Hai!!
Pandit: Tum chup raho… Tum Dulhe ho!!

Teacher ne gadhe ke saamne 1 daaru ki aur 1 pani ke balti rakhi…
Gadha paani pee gaya…
Teacher 2 students: Tumne isse kya seekha?
One Student: Jo daaru nahin peeta wo gadha hai

Wife: Chalo na, Aaj sunday hai, Kahi bahar chalte hain… aur drive main karungi

Husband: Ooh! Matlab jayenge car mein, aur aayenge akhbaar mein!!

Ek chor santa ka mobile le kar bhag raha tha.
Santa: bhaag saale bhag…
bhag..
aur bhaag
Kal kya karega?
Charger to mere pass hai.

Teacher : pappu batao akbar kaun tha
Pappu : pata nahi sir…
Teacher : padhai ki taraf dhyan do to pata chalega
Pappu : achaa sir aap batao suresh kaun hai
Teacher : pata nahi…
Pappu : apni beti ki taraf dhyan do to pata chalega!!

Pappu ki hui master se ladai
Master ne ki pappu ki pitai
Pappu ka garam hua khoon
Gaya kabristan or master ki,
photo taang ke likh diya
COMING SOON

Santa Banta ki khoob pitai hui.
Par kyun?
Kyunki, Dono B'Day party me muft ka khana khate pakde gaye!!
aur kehne lage: Hum Ladki walo ki taraf se hain

Santa school me gadha le ke aaya…
Madam: Ye gadha, Q laye ho?
Santa: Madam aap hi to Kehti ho ke maine bade bade gadho ko insan banaya hai. To maine socha ki ab iski bhi life ban jaayegi

Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya,
usne English me baat karne ki sochi aur bola: English chalti hai na?
Ladki sharmate hue: soda sath me ho to DESI bhi chalti hai

3 Dost picnic par gaye…
Wahan jaakar yaad aaya ki pepsi to ghar bhool gaye!
To unhone decide kiya ki Santa jaakar pepsi le aaye…
Santa: Main iss shart par jaunga ki mere aane tak tum samosa nahi khaoge
Baaki dono friends: theek hai…
1 din gujar gaya, dono ne socha ki ab samosa kha lena chahiye… Jaise hi samosa uthaya.
Santa ped ke peechhe se nikal kar bola: Dekho agar aisa karoge to main nahi jaunga